am i turning my boyfriend gay?

18 Feb

i’ve always had a love affair with musicals.  Olivia Newton John and John Travolta singing You’re the One that I Want, Michelle Pfieffer singing Cool Rider, the Von Trapp family singing their Goodnight song.  all some of my favorite childhood movie musical memories.

It’s no surprise that my 6th grade boyfriend is (was?) gay.  we had a lot in common.    probably still do.  every guy i was friends with in college was gay.  my mom used to warn me about going to college parties and watching my drinks.  she would then be reminded of the sexuality of the guys i hung around with and tease that any roofies that made it into my cup were more than likely not intended for myself.

i’ve been complimented on my shoes by guys on more than twenty occasions.

it’s a miracle i met a guy that not only doesn’t know what kate spade, elle, and what mascara is, but one who can recall every sports factoid to be known in the last twenty years.

our first date was at a sports bar.  i even wore my one and only football jersey.  i know to address an audience, i suppose.

the boyfriend and i started dating during football season and spent many a sunday sitting at a pretty lousy sports bar for 4-5 hours straight.  we drank lots of diet coke and shared many a french fry.  we found common ground.  he would tell me team/player gossip.  i would relate by telling him who on what team was married to, involved with, or cheating on with some “celebrity” on a reality show.

i’m a football fan, and always cheer for my bengals.  i, however, don’t care about the other 31 teams in the NFL.  the patriots winning or losing doesn’t affect my day…neither does the outcome of the bengals game, really.  but for the first few months, i sat diligently.  i watched, i cheered, i had to potty a lot – because the sports bar might have been lousy but they were definitely not stingy with the diet coke.

something snapped in recent months.  i longed for episodes of glee.  i missed the real housewives of atlanta and beverly hills.  i needed teen mom back in my life along with jersey shore.  there was a new season of the bachelor starting and i desperately wanted to know brad womack’s future.

it started out innocent enough.  the boyfriend would come over and catch the tail end of the real housewives.  i would fill him in on what he missed.  it then quickly turned into “hey babe, can we watch glee tonight?” and he would never deny me.  before i knew it, we were starting the bachelor series.  together.  it’s now come to the point that we make bets on who’s going  home next.  we make comments on the girls outfits of choice.

i knew i might have taken it too far when we were showing the boyfriend’s brother what hulu plus looked like up on the flat screen tv.  the boyfriend quickly put glee on – the musical number with gweneth paltrow singing under my umbrella.  the brother looked at me and said “you have him watching glee? what have you done to my boy?”

i felt a little guilty.  i felt like i had over-stepped my nightly tv show requests.  in my eyes he was enjoying the shows just as much as i was.  i started to remember, though.  remember all those weekends spent in that lousy sports bar.  all the fries and diet coke i had consumed.  the angry birds i had played on my phone.  why?  because i wanted to make him happy.  i knew he loved football.  we loved spending time together, so i didn’t want to deny that.  we could have both!  i started to realize the situation has more than likely been reversed.

i felt guilty for a hot second.


because if there’s one thing the boyfriend loves more than football, it’s basketball.  march madness is two weeks away.  a month of constant basketball.  all games.  all day long.  now don’t get me wrong.  i love my kentucky wildcats and will watch them play, but once their streak is over, so is basketball season for me.

a month of 24-7 basketball? bring it.  the boyfriend tells me the real housewives of miami is starting.  we’re in this together for the long haul.

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